That Negative Mindset is Hurting Your Friendships - Special
Hi there! A topic sprouting all over the internet is negative mindset, and staying true to yourself. In this article, I thought I'd add my personal opinion (that's mostly just examples) into how a negative mindset does not only hurt a person, but hurts friendships. Let's jump right in!
Sidenote: I'd like to say before we jump into the article that any names, ideas, or context was made up completely as examples and was meant fictional. Names or ideas of these sorts that exist are a complete coincidence.
So how does a negative mindset hurt a friendship? Well, I like to think of a negative mindset as a stubborn positive mindset. One that will take everything someone could possibly learn from an experience and flip it in reverse. Take this example, for instance.
Sarah and Lisa have been best friends since kindergarten. They have explored everything together and experienced their fears together. Their favorite hobbies were to go to each other's houses when the weren't too busy and draw by the window. One day, Lisa gets sick and is out for a week of school. Sarah makes a new friend, which angers Lisa when she returns to school the following week.
Now, if we turn twenty years into the future, and Sarah gets a new position in Lisa's group, she will not be willing to work with her. Lisa will most likely forget the years she spent playing, running, screaming, writing, and drawing with Sarah. Most importantly, she will have forgotten how good of a friend Sarah was to her, to remember only when she was sick and Sarah had went to make a new friend.
Do you see how the negative mindset plays out here? In the end, because Lisa kept the feelings of the horror of her friend being replaced, to all the fun times she had with her friend, she was holding a grudge that she wouldn't let go of. This could go on for her to eventually forget everything she did that year in school (her favorite memories, sitting at the cafeteria, making a new friend) to remembering this was the year her friend had left her.
What if she looked at this from a positive mindset? Things might have looked a little more different. Since Lisa and Sarah were life-long friends, she could have talked it out with Sarah. She could have also joined in on what Sarah was talking about, meeting a new friend and having a great year. Later in her life there could have been a three-way friendship circle and that year would be remembered as one of the best yet.
Does that mean we should forget these bad moments completely?
Not exactly.
Look at another example of two friends, Brian and Ted.
Brian has worked with Ted multiple times on projects, only to find that Ted wants to play video games every time Brian requests they should work. In the end, Brian must finish all the work for him, and turn in the project to get back a score Brian didn't deserve. Their teacher, Mr. Red, has just assigned a new project and Ted is waving for Brian to come over. Brian is stuck between choosing Ted, or choosing a new partner to result in a better grade.
In this case, forgetting a bad moment like a previous project would result Brian to have a greater dip in his grade. So, what should he do?
Instead, Brian should accept these moments with a positive mindset and try to learn a lesson from them. Going back to Ted would result in a bad grade, and going to another partner would result in a good one. It would be better for Brian to apologize and work with someone else, or talk with Ted about how things can work out.
This doesn't mean Brian has to make this the end of their friendship. They can still be friends, but work with others on projects.
In both Brian and Lisa's cases, Brian made the better decision by moving on with a right mindset. By keeping a negative mindset like Lisa's, Ted's feelings would have been hurt, and Brian would rather remember losing a friend than a grade he got on a project.
So, in the end, keeping a positive mindset to everything, friends, family, school, work, teachers, anything will ultimately help you live a happier, healthier life.
Thanks for reading this article! If you like these kinds of special posts and want more, tell me below!
Stay tuned!
-TheBookishElephant
Sidenote: I'd like to say before we jump into the article that any names, ideas, or context was made up completely as examples and was meant fictional. Names or ideas of these sorts that exist are a complete coincidence.
So how does a negative mindset hurt a friendship? Well, I like to think of a negative mindset as a stubborn positive mindset. One that will take everything someone could possibly learn from an experience and flip it in reverse. Take this example, for instance.
Sarah and Lisa have been best friends since kindergarten. They have explored everything together and experienced their fears together. Their favorite hobbies were to go to each other's houses when the weren't too busy and draw by the window. One day, Lisa gets sick and is out for a week of school. Sarah makes a new friend, which angers Lisa when she returns to school the following week.
Now, if we turn twenty years into the future, and Sarah gets a new position in Lisa's group, she will not be willing to work with her. Lisa will most likely forget the years she spent playing, running, screaming, writing, and drawing with Sarah. Most importantly, she will have forgotten how good of a friend Sarah was to her, to remember only when she was sick and Sarah had went to make a new friend.
Do you see how the negative mindset plays out here? In the end, because Lisa kept the feelings of the horror of her friend being replaced, to all the fun times she had with her friend, she was holding a grudge that she wouldn't let go of. This could go on for her to eventually forget everything she did that year in school (her favorite memories, sitting at the cafeteria, making a new friend) to remembering this was the year her friend had left her.
What if she looked at this from a positive mindset? Things might have looked a little more different. Since Lisa and Sarah were life-long friends, she could have talked it out with Sarah. She could have also joined in on what Sarah was talking about, meeting a new friend and having a great year. Later in her life there could have been a three-way friendship circle and that year would be remembered as one of the best yet.
Does that mean we should forget these bad moments completely?
Not exactly.
Look at another example of two friends, Brian and Ted.
Brian has worked with Ted multiple times on projects, only to find that Ted wants to play video games every time Brian requests they should work. In the end, Brian must finish all the work for him, and turn in the project to get back a score Brian didn't deserve. Their teacher, Mr. Red, has just assigned a new project and Ted is waving for Brian to come over. Brian is stuck between choosing Ted, or choosing a new partner to result in a better grade.
In this case, forgetting a bad moment like a previous project would result Brian to have a greater dip in his grade. So, what should he do?
Instead, Brian should accept these moments with a positive mindset and try to learn a lesson from them. Going back to Ted would result in a bad grade, and going to another partner would result in a good one. It would be better for Brian to apologize and work with someone else, or talk with Ted about how things can work out.
This doesn't mean Brian has to make this the end of their friendship. They can still be friends, but work with others on projects.
In both Brian and Lisa's cases, Brian made the better decision by moving on with a right mindset. By keeping a negative mindset like Lisa's, Ted's feelings would have been hurt, and Brian would rather remember losing a friend than a grade he got on a project.
So, in the end, keeping a positive mindset to everything, friends, family, school, work, teachers, anything will ultimately help you live a happier, healthier life.
Thanks for reading this article! If you like these kinds of special posts and want more, tell me below!
Stay tuned!
-TheBookishElephant
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Hi there! I'm TheBookishElephant- a writer, reader, and a HUGE fan of all things animal! This blog is an inspiration of the animals I have seen growing up, and animals I hope to see as I continue on in my life! Animal Awareness is one of the things that can get out the word and help create change. Want to support my mission? Go ahead and click the follow button! Followers really inspire me to push the blog more and hopefully get word out the whole world! Well, what are you waiting for? There's fun awaiting!
This is just a seperator kind of line so that the words are seperated and everything is good so I really hope it works. TOday we are going to Sanjana and Rohan's house jk that's tomorrow b
This is just a seperator kind of line so that the words are seperated and everything is good so I really hope it works. TOday we are going to Sanjana and Rohan's house jk that's tomorrow b
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This is just a seperator kind of line so that the words are seperated and everything is good so I really hope it works. TOday we are going to Sanjana and Rohan's house jk that's tomorrow b
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